Over the last 50 years, the role of mothers in our society has changed dramatically. Women now make up 47% of the US labor force, up from 38% in 1970. As women have gone into the labor force in greater numbers, they still bear much more of the burden for both housework and child care than do fathers. Thus, workingwomen are left to wrestle with the competing demands of work and family, juggling their many responsibilities at the office and at home.
It is no wonder then that from working mothers to stay-at-home moms, every woman with kids looks forward to that second Sunday in May when she is the leading lady. Who wouldn’t want to be lavished with a little extra affection, appreciation and attention from the people that matter most in your life?
Here’s a look at two stories of Pinay moms who are also valuable and prominent members of the Fil-Am community here in Southern California, as we celebrate Mother’s Day this year. Maybe you’ll recognize yourself in some of their most admirable qualities, or learn a lesson or two from their “mothering” roles.
Teresita “Momsy” Leelin: The Mother of Goldilocks Bakeshop USA
In many universities in the Philippines, female students were selected and recruited to serve as Muses, called Corps Sponsors, of the Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (ROTC) Corps of Cadets.
Over 60 years ago, Maria Teresa “Teresita” Magbanua Lee was selected to be the corps sponsor of then ROTC Corps Commander of the University of the East, Manuel Tancioco Leelin. It was a meeting destined by fate, for since then, Manuel and Teresa have shared their life together. They married on Dec. 23, 1951, and will be celebrating their 60th Wedding Anniversary this year.
Teresita was born Nov. 9, 1931 in Cotabato City, Philippines. She went to Notre Dame High School in Cotobato before going to Manila to study at the University of the East for college.
During the first two decades of their marriage, Teresita did not work, as she raised their children—Mendrei, Menard and Carmela, who all called her “Momsy” while Manuel was “Popsy.” But, Teresita was socially and politically active as she supported Manuel in his various roles as the Governor of the Development Bank of the Philippines (DBP), and Director of the National Marketing Corporation (NAMARCO), the People’s Homesite and Housing Corporation (PHHC), and the Development Bank of the Philippines. He also established several businesses including Leelin Batteries, Leelin Motors, and Tamaraw Trading.
When martial law was imposed, Manuel sided with the opposition and found it increasingly difficult to live in the country. That’s when he and Teresita decided to immigrate to California.
By that time, the Goldilocks Bakeshop that was founded by Manuel’s sisters—Milagros Leelin Yee and Clarita Leelin Go—has already established itself as the leader in the Philippine bakeshop industry. Manuel and Teresita decided to set up Goldilocks USA in 1976.
“Momsy,” sons Menard and Mendrei, and only daughter Carmela, baked the pandesal and other bread, cakes and pastries while “Popsy” took care of the administrative and finance side of the business. It was a concentrated family enterprise with all five of them devoting their time and effort in building Goldilocks in Southern California and expanding operations in the US. To date, Goldilocks has 18 stores in US and Canada, all of which are frequented by Filipinos and Americans alike.
While Momsy and Popsy have been semi-retired from the business, they still continue to actively participate in major decisions, especially during board meetings. In fact, while answering questions from Asian Journal for this article, 79-year old Momsy was busy taking part in their regular board meeting the whole day Monday before leaving for a trip Tuesday to visit their Las Vegas stores.
Admitting to Asian Journal that being a mother has not always been a bed of roses, Momsy said, “I have had my share of highs and lows, just like any mother would.”
But what has sustained her well is her passion for life and her happy and smiling attitude, which her children said, is “so contagious.”
Aside from helping run the business, Momsy has her hands full, taking care of her family which now includes Mendrei with wife, Cecile; Menard with wife Yojie; Carmela; grandchildren: Michael with wife Anavie, Mendrick, Mendie Leelin, Melody, Monica de Leon, Jantzen Mas and great grandchild Ever Marian.
“I love and admire everything about my mother. She is very kind, thoughtful, forgiving and most of all, caring to all those less fortunate. She has greatly influenced my life, ” said Mendrei. All her children and grandchildren only have praises for Momsy and echoed Mendrei’s sentiments. “Overall she has been the best mother and grandma to all of us. Very loving and thoughtful. We all love her very, very much,” added Mendrei.
“What I love most about Momsy is that she is always thinking of what is good for you. She is so caring, loving and is always concerned to see how you are doing,” enthused Carmela, the Leelin’s only daughter, who is an outstanding baker and chef as well.
Menard, who has taken over the operations of Goldilocks, totally agrees. “Momsy is simply the best mom!”
Perhaps one significant virtue of Momsy is being happy and contented in life. A proof of this is that she and Popsy have lived in the same house in Cerritos since 1976, even when they can afford to buy a bigger, more expensive home.
Asked what advice she can give to other moms, especially the young ones who are just starting a family, Momsy Teresita Leelin had this to say: “Love all your children unconditionally. Always say positive and uplifting words. Hug them always and say ‘I love you’ as much as you can.”
Carmelita O’Neil: The challenges of being a Fil-Am mom
Carmelita O’Neil’s kids always ask her the same thing, ‘how did you do it? How did you manage to work full time, raise us and pay for our college tuition?’
With children of their own now, son Oliver and daughter Karmel want to know the secret of motherhood and how to best take care of their own kids.
Looking back at her life, O’Neil is still unsure how she managed to do it. She worked full-time as an accountant, raised two wonderful kids mostly on her own, paid for their college tuition and provided for them with food and shelter and a warm blanket.
As mother’s day approaches, the 66-year-old O’Neil, a retired accountant and one of the founding advisors of the International Society of Young Filipino Accountants (ISYFA), reflects on the trials and tribulations of motherhood and says she’s fortunate.
“I’m glad that everything turned out good,” she says. “My daughter graduated from UCLA. My son graduated from a California State University. I think of the time when things weren’t going so well, they could have easily strayed or who knows what—but I’m glad things worked out.”
Life in America
O’Neil’s journey began in 1973 when President Ferdinand Marcos declared martial law. She and her then husband, unsure of what was to become of the country, packed up their bags and left to the United States, leaving behind their two small children.
O’Neil, an accountant and graduate of the University of the East, Philippines, received a job offer right away in Los Angeles and within nine months was able to send for her children.
But she found out right away that raising children in the US is completely different than raising them in the Philippines.
“That was the biggest eye opener for me,” she says. “It’s so hard to be a mother in this country because we have no help. We have to rely on a babysitter and preschool. When you’re at the office you think of your children left behind and when you’re at home you think about your work.”
“When we came here, it was definitely a struggle,” she adds. “Coming in here I was like, ‘oh my God what is this now?’ I have to find a trustworthy babysitter then take the kids there. At that time, I had to take two buses to Sunset Strip where I worked. I remember leaving the kids at the babysitter in the morning and I can still hear them crying from the bus stop.”
It was a difficult transition at first but O’Neil and her then husband managed.
O’Neil says luck played a role. She says she was fortunate that her employer at the time, MetroMedia, allowed her to bring her children in to work when they were sick and gave her time off when she needed to be with them.
Her bosses could have easily dismissed her but decided against it because she was one of their best workers, she says.
“They recognized my talent, not my handicap,” she says. “They promoted me and didn’t use it against me. I was lucky in that regard.”
Playing a dual role
When she and her husband decided it would be best to split up, she was frank with her children about what it meant for them. They were teenagers then and at that age could have easily rebelled or led astray.
“I told them, ‘I’ll be your mother and father. I’ll give you the best that I could give you. I’m going to work hard for you.’”
Her children responded by working hard in their schoolwork. Her son was accepted to a California State University and a year later, her daughter, to UCLA. With two kids in college on a single income, paying for their tuition was going to be difficult.
Fox had just purchased her company and now, she has a new boss. She approached him with a sense of urgency.
“I told him, ‘I have to put my kids through college I will work hard, work late, work weekends, whatever you want me to do as long as you could keep giving me a raise. Try to get me as much raise as you could get me,’” she says.
It worked. She worked late. She worked weekends. She did whatever she had to do to provide for her kids.
Looking back, it wasn’t easy for her but it’s something she dealt with.
“I guess I could say that God helped me out,” she says.
“You have to deal with the cards you are dealt with and do the best you can… God will only give you problems you can solve. Just think positive and think of good things.”
O’Neil handled the trials and tribulations of motherhood really well. And she says, she’s proud of her kids.
So now when her kids asked how she managed to pay for their college tuition, she says, “Sometimes I had to pull out of my retirement funds.”
And they answer, “You don’t need that. We’ll take care of you.”
(www.asianjournal.com)
(LA Midweek May 4-6, 2011 MDWK pg.2)
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