(Part 3 of 3)
THIS is the third and final installment of the 15 Tips on How to Build A House of Bricks.
11. Pray without ceasing to the God of your being. Realize that when you do, you will never be alone. The single, most important foundation of a transplanted life begins with the realization that by yourself alone, without help, you can do nothing of real meaning and lasting value. No obstacle is too steep, no situation too difficult, or setback too overwhelming that cannot be helped by constant, heartfelt prayer and a foundation of faith so strong, it can move mountains.
12. Bring it all together. Once your circumstances become stable and you are able to choose the type of work you love to do and more importantly, that which makes you happy – go for it. The shift will be uncomfortable and unnerving at first. Seek the path that makes use of the abilities and the talents that you were born with. Listen to what your whole being says you were meant to do and enter that rare, enviable state of being that finally feels like coming home.
13. Rein in the spirit of the crab. Put a number of live crabs in a basket and witness how crabs behave. Any crab successful enough to rise above the heads of the other crabs to escape the confines of the basket will be pulled down by the pincer claws of the other crabs underfoot. The crab mentality is nothing more than envy in disguise – alive and well in human nature. Lest you think the Severe Acute Crab Syndrome (SACS) – a name I coined for this social phenomenon – is endemic or unique only to our community, take heart, for we’re not alone. Other immigrant communities report the same thing. To counteract this, try and be happy for others (even if it kills you).
14. Strive to learn any way you can. Learning is a lifelong process of adaptation. And to copy Yoda’s transposed way of making a point, “Adapt, you must. Or die early, you will.” The dodo bird never learned to adapt, never learned to defend itself against predators and became extinct. It’s been said that the human mind is like a cup with a hole at the bottom. You just have to keep trying to fill that bottomless cup. But be warned: intelligence alone is sorely inadequate. The whole person’s mind and heart must evolve. Of the two, the heart should lead. Draw from the strength of our own culture and weave it into the new one. The hybrid is often better suited to the new environment. The American Jews have been remarkable because they knew the value of education and hit the libraries early in the history of this country and went all the way to the highest levels of learning. Many now dominate multiple areas of achievement. Take a cursory look at the young ones who frequent your local libraries and those who do volunteer work and you can take a peek at what the future holds. See a preview of which immigrant communities today will replicate the patterns of excellence and achievement seen in earlier groups of immigrants. Yet, we must never lose sight of the fact that in the end, all learning means nothing if we never learn how to love.
15. See the big picture. Between birth and death is life. How you live your immigrant life is up to you. Many of the wisest men who have pondered the meaning and the purpose of life over thousands of years, have defined life according to their own perceptions and circumstances. In the end, if you are in full control of all your faculties as an average human being, you and you alone define your own life with the set of gifts and the circumstances that life gives you.
Immigrant or native, remember what someone else wrote so succinctly long ago about the essence of any worthwhile life and that is – TO LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN AND LOVE MUCH. May the house of bricks you build allow you to do all that.
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Nota Bene: Monette Adeva Maglaya is SVP of Asian Journal Publications, Inc. To ask questions, send feedback and requests as well as to inquire about advertising in any or all of the 6 print editions of Asian Journal in California, Nevada and New York/New Jersey and/or advertising in the Print Edition Online of Asian Journal, e-mail
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL READERS! MAY GOD’S GLORIOUS SEASON BRING YOU PEACE AND JOY.
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