“Vanity of vanities; ALL is vanity.” From Ecclesiastes
WE NOW live in an age of extreme self-absorption. Following the lead of celebrities in the sports and entertainment world, we are being led by the media to believe that life is all about I, Me and Myself at center stage. We have all the tools for self-absorption at hand: camera phones, computers, tablets, Facebook, Twitter and other forms of social media and the unceasing ad messages that prick our vanity. We have become the stars in our own firmament.
It’s not a new phenomenon. Advanced, wealthy civilizations in history have fallen for the same trap. Maybe it’s time to dredge out those stories from mythology, told and retold from the distant past so we can better understand how to deal with this disconcerting trend and see how too much self-absorption eventually lead to despondency and unhappiness.
The antidote to self-absorption, like for many ills that plague our world today, is still the same as it was in the past – love and concern for others, interest in the well-being of someone or being involved in something bigger, higher, loftier than one’s self and a humble awareness and quiet appreciation of what is and what is yet to be right now, right here where we live our days and nights.
Long ago when enchanted creatures peopled the earth, there was a nymph called Echo. She probably rated a nine and a half on a 10 point-attractiveness scale, gorgeous, knowledgeable and perfect in every way except for one thing — she was a chatterbox nonpareil. She liked to hear herself talk far too much and perhaps, with a tinge of hubris, would insist on having the last word in every conversation.
Juno, the queen of the Gods, was so irked by Echo’s habit that she meted out a punishment just for her. Echo will no longer be able to talk, except for one tiny concession – she will be able to say only the last word.
In the same forest where the nymphs lived, there was a young man named Narcissus who was so classically handsome and perfectly proportioned that all the nymphs oohed and ahhed and fell in love with him at first sight. Picture Michelangelo’s marble sculpture of “David” in flesh and blood or a composite between diCaprio and Brad Pitt. If he were real person today, he would have made the cover of People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man of the Year.” His fans became legion that all that adulation got into his head. He became extremely vain. No nymph was good enough for him.
One day, Echo espied Narcissus while he was hunting with his peers and fell like a ton of bricks in love with him. She longed to tell him of her feelings, but in her afflicted state, she became painfully shy and simply contented herself silently watching him from a distance, shadowing Narcissus’ every move. Narcissus, however, became aware of her shadowy presence and talked her out of her hiding place. Echo could only repeat the last words of what Narcissus was saying in their conversation so she may have came out sounding like a mindless idiot, vexing Narcissus. Besotted with love for the hunk however and believing Narcissus’ plea that she come out so they can be joined together, she finally overcame her crippling shyness and revealed herself. Narcissus felt she wasn’t good enough for him and scorned her for her bold presumptuousness and repudiated her total being, sending her away devastated in the most cutting words, slashing and burning her very existence, swearing he would rather die than be with Echo.
Poor Echo! Her heart broke into a million little pieces. Beauty and light dissolved into darkness for her until nothing held any meaning. Refusing food and drink, Echo grew pale and consumptive and faded away, leaving only her far-off voice in the distance. It is said that Echo haunts the mountains where she answers all who call but only with the last words.
Narcissus meanwhile continued to break one hapless heart after another in the most mean spirited away, until one day, one totally aggrieved nymph with her heart shattered, prayed to the powers that be, for vengeance, to inflict punishment on Narcissus to make him feel the pure pain of unrequited love, to make him feel how it is to give love and have it flung back in his face. Her prayer was heard and in a world of swift and even-handed justice with no lawyers, judges and jury to cloud the issue, appropriate punishment was served.
One day Narcissus chanced upon a pool with water so clear, it looked like a mirror. Bending over to drink, Narcissus saw his own reflection, thought it was a water nymph, and forthwith, was smitten with the image on the pool. He fell in love with the image of himself, hook, line and sinker, not unlike celebrities who read their own press and believe them to be true. But I digress.
Narcissus tried to embrace his own reflection in the water but his attempt to touch or kiss his beloved ended in frustration each time. The image in the water dissolved into ripples, disappeared and came back on. Narcissus had to be content just by looking at the mirror image of himself in the pool, day and night, without ever knowing the joy of touching or being loved in return. He now knew, up close and personal, the excruciating pain of multiple rejections from the same object of his affection. Still he persisted, becoming rooted to the spot by the pool. He now knew how it is to be on the receiving end of rejection. He slowly pined away, losing his youth and beauty and withering away on the same spot by the pool’s edge with Echo still hovering over him and repeating his poignant last word, “Alas!” as he lay dying.
As the woodland creatures prepared to bury his body, Narcissus’ body was nowhere to be found and in its place, stood a flower, bending over the pool, as though admiring itself. Gardeners know this flower as narcissus.
Hence, we call those who exhibit the same folly these days as narcissistic. The irony of it is that others clearly see it for what it is but the afflicted individual is blind to this egocentric flaw in himself, thinking the world revolves around him. In today’s world, there’s opportunity to cash in on this human flaw and use vanity and self-image as hot buttons to sell their wares: beauty products and services, diet pills and machines and illusions of power and beauty, with remarkable success. Self-improvement is great but only if it comes from the inside out.
Pray that both the “once young” and the young ones don’t fall prey to the trappings of extreme self-absorption. Self love taken to extreme, is something that might account for much of the social problems affluent societies with only one or two self-absorbed children per family, experience and suffer from today.
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Nota Bene: Monette Adeva Maglaya is SVP of Asian Journal Publications, Inc. She has authored the book, “The Complete Success Guide for the Immigrant Life.” Her books are available at amazon.com or immigrantsuccess.com To send comments or requests, e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
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