A sad reality on being judgmental and unforgiving
Erratum: Pinoy Vibes was aired on Sept 16, 2007, instead of Sept. 16, 2017
As shared with you in the last article about how I was also misjudged by some people in the past, all of us may have gone through similar circumstances. False impressions based on our appearance is quite rampant and it even borders on discrimination in some cases.
It also seems that the culture of bashing is very imminent on social media nowadays. Good manners and right conduct have altogether vanished into thin air, leaving us with people who hurl negativities left and right and crushing the dignities of people who made mistakes. Some even believe stories that were not even an inch close to the truth even if they have not even experienced or witnessed a thing. But what really are the factors that make people quick to pass judgment and eventually become so unforgiving?
It is probably because of several reasons.
Lack of love
When we have very little love for ourselves, we do not believe in what we can do. Little belief in self leads to insecurity. Insecurity makes you jealous and always envious of the achievements of others because you have none yourself. Like watching a telenovela, you look at what your “kapitbahay” (neighbor) buys and acquires. Simple things like the clothes they wear and where they take vacations become your obsession. Like an eagle, you keenly observe what goes on with them. You are always there to watch their lives instead of minding your own.
Loving yourself doesn’t mean you are full of yourself. When you love yourself, you don’t compare others to you. You give dignity to who you are and are proud of what you have achieved.
When we enjoy persecuting people, it reflects another LACK OF LOVE. Having very little love in our hearts and lacking in compassion for others, we then become cold-hearted and become insensitive to the feelings of people. We simply would not care if they get hurt with the words and judgment that come from us.
This world has become colder, pathetic and unforgiving. We have become very insensitive, cold and unmindful of what people may feel.
The ‘I, me, and myself’ syndrome
In short, it’s selfishness. This person wants to be the center of attention. S/he enjoys being powerful and in the company of powerful people. Everything is about how s/he feels, thinks and only his/her opinion matters.
Here, the illusions of grandeur come in. These kinds of people believe they are the only ones who are entitled and capable. They believe that they are someone to look up to and that they must come first.
The green-eyed monster
They envy the success of another and will do everything to put the other person down. Those who cry wolf have more hideous traits than the ones they are actually trying to destroy. Attention seeker themselves, they view others as competitors and find the success of others as repelling. It must be only him or her in the end.
False sense of righteousness
This person feels and acts as if s/he is infallible. S/he sets standards for him/herself and expects others to follow. This person will find faults in anything and everything other people do. Furthermore, s/he compares the moral values of every person s/he meets to his/her own. If it does not conform to his/her sense of morality, the other person is doomed.
What then should you do when you meet these kinds of people?
Practice the art of ‘dedma.’ Dedma is a Filipino slang term, which means “not pay attention to.” Never react nor respond to anyone or any situation that encourages a negative attitude towards others. Simply let things go. Let it flow.
Always remind yourself that we all make boo-boos. The vulnerability of human frailty will always be there and we will always have the tendency to make mistakes. If we view life in this manner, we then can be more understanding and more forgiving. Putting ourselves in other people’s shoes and trying to understand where they are coming from will make things easier to comprehend.
People who judge are people who need the help most. It means they are undergoing some crisis themselves that they need to feel more superior or morally right than others. Those who hurl negative remarks toward others are actually wanting to be praised and assured. Reach out to people who are judgmental. Somehow you may be a catalyst for their change if you try to understand where their emotions are emanating from.
Sow love, and be kind, helpful, understanding and open. Simply love.
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Stargazer is a life coach, aura reader, psychic/clairvoyant, and lecturer on the paranormal. She uses the aura, energies & vibrations as focal points of her psychic readings. Using several techniques involving the psychological, spiritual, paranormal and her own experience of the intricacies of life, Stargazer makes one get in touch with his inner and understand life in a positive manner. Faith in God and belief in self is what Stargazer emphasizes on. Currently, Stargazer is a radio anchor of DZMM Teleradyo, the radio arm of ABS-CBN. Her show “Pinoy Vibes” has been airing every Sunday morning since Sept. 2007. She can be reached at [email protected] For more information, please visit http://stargazer.ph/.